Over the years, life has not made sense.
I’ve experienced the unthinkable. I’ve walked through the unbearable and let me tell you, when life hurts in the way I’ve experienced it, it’s easy to question God.
At 33, I lived through the toughest time of my life. I faced a bigger storm than any college course, degree, or sermon could have prepared me for. To be honest, not even prayer comforted me when I heard the words:
“I’m sorry ma’am your son has cancer.”
“What? How? He’s only 4!”
Oh and I struggled, “LORD, where are You?”
He brought me to Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
So I chose to do what I failed to do in previous times—I chose to draw close to Him. And in return, He taught me how to worship through the pain, through the storm.
“Now what?”
“Love the Lord God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” He reminded me of Mathew 22:37 and showed me that even in the most devastating circumstance I needed to respond to His love, by…
Worshiping Him.
In this deep storm, when I forgot what sunlight looked like, I discovered that true worship is really all about love. Not a superficial, fair-weather friend type of love, but God’s rich and constant love.
Worship is not about us or how we feel and it’s certainly not dependent on our circumstances. Worship is our response to God’s love for us. It’s our reply to this unique love no one or thing could offer besides Him. Worship is our reaction (sometimes easy and natural, sometimes hard and a choice) because of a genuine relationship with God our Father through His Son, Jesus.
I worship because He loves me and I love Him!
I still lost my son to cancer a year ago. I still sat at his side and held him as he endured the pain.
Let me tell you, as I held my son’s hand, God held mine. He was with us in the storm and who would be better to comfort us during that time (and now) than the One Who gave His only Son, Jesus?
I’ll say it again; God was with us during the storm.
After I lost my son, which was by far the most devastating part of my life, I was determined to not lose my praise. I needed to worship God for He was my unshakeable foundation, guiding me through the storm.
Since then I’ve lost my mother as well as a dear friend. He’s still available and still worthy of all my worship because of Who He is and what He has done through Jesus.
For me, one of the most comforting lyrics was written by Casting Crowns. God used this song (I praise you in the storm) to help me through my pain and suffering:
“I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry, You raised me up again.My strength is almost gone, how can I carry on if I can’t find You. As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain. ‘I’m with you.’ And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
And I’ll praise You in this storm. And I will lift my hands that You are who You are, No matter where I am. And every tear I’ve cried, You hold in your hand. You never left my side. And though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm.”My strength is almost gone, how can I carry on if I can’t find You. As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain. ‘I’m with you.’ And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
And I’ll praise You in this storm. And I will lift my hands that You are who You are, No matter where I am. And every tear I’ve cried, You hold in your hand. You never left my side. And though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm.”
I don’t know why we experience the storms we do, but when we cling to Jesus despite the storm, something shifts. When we acknowledge His love for us and in return express our love to Him through worship He is able to hold us. It is almost like we give Him permission to be our personal rock.
This is our story, my son’s and mine. As I end this blog, I ask this one thing of you. If you are living in hard times, please consider that God is close to the brokenhearted. Reach out to Him in your pain and understand that worship is a direct appointment to be in the arms of your Savior.
Lastly, I leave you with another one of my favorite Scriptures of what true worship means to me. “Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture.” Psalm 100:1-3.
He has invited us, now it’s our choice to respond. He is faithful.
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